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02 October 2006 @ 04:38 am
Long time coming  
Holy shit it has been a long time.

I wouldn't even bother writing on here, but I don't have any other outlet (well, not one that wouldn't be hurt/offended/bored by what I am going to write).

After careful consideration, a really long week and a really shitty day at work, I have decided that I am generally--in an all-around sort of way--really, really unhappy. Not only have I fallen, no jumped, into the same bad habits regarding school work, my family drives me crazy (which makes me feel even more crazy because I know how amazing they are), I hate my job, my 4 year relationship doesn't seem to make sense anymore and I honest-to-God don't like looking in the mirror anymore. I thought I was having a nervous breakdown today and it scared the shit out of me. The only thing I could think about was getting drunk, which scared me even more. I hadn't cried for a long time. Basically, nothing is the way I want it to be and I don't really know how to start fixing/changing things.

In other, related news, it is 4:48 am and I have yet to sleep. 8:15 lecture: here I come.

I have a bad feeling its going to get a lot worse before it gets better.
 
 
 
(Anonymous) on September 27th, 2008 07:27 pm (UTC)
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very best job